"There has to be something we haven't completed in this town."
"But our last primary quest was the discussion panel yesterday!"
"... then there must be a side quest."
Read MoreMy PhD is declared useless
"I would never do a PhD! It's completely useless. An utter waste of time!"
So. This was awkward. I looked down at my plate. It held a cookie decorated with a green duck.
Read MoreI miss my flight
“It’s too late to use the toilet. They’ve been announcing that for the last 40 minutes and now you’ve missed your chance!"
Read MorePearl Harbor
I took paltry few photographs at Pearl Harbor. This was because each time I viewed the scene through my phone's camera, I mentally captioned it: "Me at the site where 2,500 people met their end!"
Read MoreI pretend to be an American
Standing in the immigration line for US citizens while clutching one of her Majesty's finest red passports did not seem the wisest of moves.
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America is mean to me
I had been having a great evening right until the point where a guy decided to hang onto the outside of my subway car.
Read MoreAllowing time for prison
I looked down at my 'US Customs & Border Protection' form: it didn't look good.
Read MoreAmerica decides I have run out of visits
"American border guards," I explained to my student as we boarded the aeroplane for New York City. "have a reputation for being … " I searched for a word that would describe the situation sufficiently to avoid surprise, but not so descriptively that leaping from the plane as it rolled down the runway would be appealing.
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